Friday, April 3, 2009

A Theory Of Gingrich

Newt Gingrich:
"If the Republicans can't break out of being the right wing party of big government, then I think you would see a third party movement in 2012."
Or whatever. I think the correct general theory of Things Newt Gingrich Says is that they're produced not by adherence to some norm of truth wherein the speaker tries to accurately describe reality, but by adherence to a norm of maintaining Newt Gingrich's position as the voice of the Contract With America. As long as he talks that way, he'll be the patron saint of the death cult faction of the Republican Party. Insofar as he has any sort of future that's relevant to politics, it's something that comes out of the love that the Mike Pence faction bears for him, and that's why he talks the way he does.

Which must complicate his life. Does he get in a cab and ask the driver to take him as far away from the United Nations as possible? Does he order pizza with extra cheese, tort reform, and Medicare cuts? Does he ask his doctor for pills that will help him cut taxes in the bedroom, like he did back in his younger days? It must be a weird way to live.
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