Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I Am Enjoying Myths Retold

They've got all kinds of myths. From Beowulf:
see at the start of this story
basically what Grendel is doing
is every night
when Hrothgar settles down to have himself a sweet party
in his meadhall
Grendel comes charging out of the swamp
humps the door down
and proceeds to play cockhockey with the internal organs
of all the people who are trying to get their booze on
he does this FOR TWELVE YEARS
there are several shocking things about this
one is that these are twelve years of solid murder we are talking about
but more importantly
where do they keep getting dudes
to come to these parties
after say
the first SIX YEARS of unstoppable death
you would think word would get around
like hey
party at Hrothgar's crib tonight
are you coming
nah man I hear THERE IS A MONSTER THERE WHO MURDERS EVERYONE

3 comments:

yoyo said...

I did not know of cockhockey.

yoyo said...

But really, the second half fails to understand the the alco-economy of the dark ages.

Your options are be starving and sobre and probably die soon.

Or you could get drunk, fuck shit up, and probably die soon.

PARTYA@#!

CreidS said...

Awesome find.

See also:

Better Book Titles (Indian in the Cupboard) and the defunct but still up Book-a-Minute (The Fellowship of the Ring). Lots more!