Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bring The Funny

Come on, people. Barack Obama meets with some conservative pundits, and even after eighteen hours, no one on the internets has produced a humorous but fake transcript of their dinner conversation? George Will, Bill Kristol, and Barack Obama all in the same room, and we can't find a way to make this into a laugh. Get it together!

Since I have a day job and little wit I'm not really cut out for this, but maybe our commenters can produced a crowd-sourced transcript. It'll be like those stories you write in middle school English, where one person writes the first sentence, then hands the paper to the next person, etc.


corvus said...

Barack Hussein Obama (BHO): Hey guys, how are you doing? Great to be here.

Daniel Ahkiam said...

George Will (GW): So we meet again Hussein.

corvus said...

BHO: Ah ha. Hey great to see you too, George. Hey, is that Billy Kristol hiding behind you?

William Kristol(WK): [Emerges from behind GW, cringing lizardlike] Eh heh heh, uh, it's Will, actually, but good one.

BHO: Hey, I just figured, you guys love nicknames [shrugs good-naturedly].

WK: Ah. Ha ha. Listen about those things, uh, all th-those things I wrote in my column...

BHO: Oh hey, I been meaning to thank you.

WK: Thanks me?

BHO: Oh man. [laughs] Encouraging McCain to pick Palin as his VIP? That was great. Really, I can't thank you enough. [pats WK warmly on the shoulder] Really I owe you one. Aw, man, that was golden!

WK: [Lips lock in a rictus grin, unable to mask the burning hate behind his eyes] Oh, ha ha, hey no problem.

Nick Beaudrot said...

Remember there are others who are there: Krauthammer, etc. Heck, add other dramatis personae as you see fit.

Daniel Ahkiam said...

GW: (Rolls Eyes, punches WK in kidney) Willie, you so totally promised not be obsequious to the terrorist.

WK: (stares at feet)

BHO: (glances at SS)

*awkward silence*

Sarah Palin: Oh howdy!

WK: Oh god no.

Anonymous said...

Kristol wearing a helmet, exclaims "I just made a dookie"

Nick Beaudrot said...

David Brooks [DB]: So, Barack, now that you're President how will you connect to the Regular Joe who eats at the Applebee's Salad Bar. If you can't do it you may be in trouble when Sarah Runs in 2012.

SP: You betcha!

BHO: Well, that's why I need a Blackberry.

DB: ...

BHO: so that I can search on the internet and discover that Applebee's doesn't have a salad bar.

DB: Hmmm ...

BHO: No, seriously, I think one of the most difficult challenges of being President is making sure you're in touch with the real pulse of America, that you're advisors are not just telling you waht you want to here. It's a very difficult problem.

Todd Palin [TP]: If you want we can go snow machine racing!

Hillary Clinton [HRC]: Actually, they're called snowmobiles, as I know from my time spent tailgating at Buffalo Bills games with Tim Russert, may he rest in peace.

Daniel Ahkiam said...

Ghost of Tim Russert (GOTR): Rest! Hah! I eat rest for breakfast.

SP: Is this the rapture?

GOTR: No. I'm just here to ask you some faux tough questions about topics that don't matter.

Blogosphere (BS): Noooooooooooo!

BHO (to SS): Get Bill Murray. Now.

Nick Beaudrot said...

Wait, who's SS?

nimh said...

Karl Rove (KR): Please, don't mind me. Don't let me keep you from saying anything. {pushes a mysterious button on the inside of his jacket}

drip said...

Joe Wurzelbacher (JtP): Hey, hey, hey Hussein! You really are skinny. Is that from being born in Africa?

GW: Isn't this supposed to be a pundits only dinner? What's this avatar of stupid doing here?

JtP: I'm not the pilot. Todd's the pilot, right Sarah?

GW: That's avatar, an imaginary alter ego, you twit.

JtP: At least I'm a reporter! I just got back reporting on the liberation of Gaza. And even you said I'm right twice a day. Little Willy there hasn't been right since Clinton was president .

WK: Who's Little Willy?

DB: Tom Friedman's best source.

Daniel Ahkiam said...

TF: Yeah, well suck on this Brooks!

(Ed. Note: SS is Secret Service. Or Nazis, depending on context.)